six degrees

As some of you may know I am a graduate of Southestern College, now Southeastern University.  When I got there I of course met lots of people, one of wich was a girl named Faith,  she is a recent addition to the readership so I thought I would giver her a hey, anyway Faith has a cousin who lives and works in DC and is friends with a rather influential political figure.  She told her cousin that I was in need of work and he in turn talked to this individual, at least thats how I understand it.  Anyway long story short the senator or ex senator wants my resume' there may be someting for me to do that helps advocate for youth or familes or something. 
Amazing.  The thing is Faith and I had lost touch and then found each other again with Myspace a little over a year ago. 
The whole six degrees of seperation thing is intersting.  Some would say that its just coincidence, and then there are people who stick God into every aspect of life that would say it's God that put us back in touch becuase he knew in His omniscience what was going to happen and that I was going to screw things up and be where we are now, and it's all part of His master plan for Aaron.  Don't get me wrong I think that God is more than capable of doing that, I just don't think He did. 
I tend to belive that God puts choices into our lives and how we choose effects the place that we are.  I also think that he allows difficult times to test if we are really relying on Him or if we are trying to be Him.  I have said that I was trying to be the man,  what that means is simple.  I was trying to do God's job.  If He really is who I have taught and who I have said I believe He is, then my reliance on Him would have allowed me to make better choices and not try and deal with mounting issues in my own strength.  It comes back to did I really or do I really believe what the Bible says,  In the darkness at night when I lay awake and stare at the celing and talk to God do I believe that he hears me? I wish I could say that I know for sure that answer, but the Christian life is not as easy as that, at least not for me.  I struggle with things and I believe that thats a good thing.  I think the moment we stop struggling with issues of faith is the moment that we forget who we are and who God is.  We cease to be the people that God desires to have relationship with and we become Zombies for Jesus, not knowing what we believe and not willing to look at our faith and question if we are living what we read and what we say we believe. 
So did God set up my getting back in touch with Faith a year ago because He knew that I was going to mess up and end up in DC.  Was it his plan to place me here and then allow me to get in touch with people on a national level to make some impact.  I submit that that was not His plan.  I believe His plan was very different, and because of the choices that I made it had to be altered. 
That's the thing, the flaw that I see in God's personality.  He still wants to use people who are going to mess up,  He still wants us to exercise our free will and still wants us to question and struggle.  He wants us to succeed but I also think He wants us to fail, because in our failings it brings us back to the place that we recognize our utter dependence on Him, or at least we should.  It's in our times of failure that we make the ultimate choice.  Do we throw in the towel and forget about God and begin to live a life that does not live and move and have it's being in Him or do we get back to the place where we can really be used and a valuable asset to His plan not for us as individuals but for the world as a whole. 
We are to be more like Christ thats what we are supposed to be stretching toward, Jesus gave that was what he did, he gave and gave and gave and gave.  We will never be able to do that not in the same way but when we screw up and when we fall we can choose to get up or we can choose to turn away and live for ourself. 
I think that God let me get back in touch with Faith because he realized that humans need relationship and need to be reminded of things that keep them in right relationship. I think that the possible benifit is not because God planned on me not being at Harvest but because God looks down and says "well Aaron made another mistake, he has repented and is working through it and I am not done with him in the grand scheme of things so lets see how he does with this.  Lets see if he finally realizes that I am the one that can be there to meet all his needs according to my power and riches and glory. "  Its not that God wanted me in the DC area, it's that God wants me to be a part of the plan of salvation.  He wants me to be a part of making a differnce in the world and since I messed up where He put me He is giving me another chance in a new place to see if I finally get it...
I pray I do.