2 days away from a 2009 and I am more confused and sad and frustrated than I have ever been.  
I wish these dreams would stop, all they seem to do is make me wonder and wish that there were some type of hope that isn't there.  
Christmas has been ok, we have spent time with family and thats been berable, I still am trying to make some decisions about schooling. I am leaning toward some form of therapy wether it be occupational or someting like that. I would be good at it and there are always jobs available in those fields.  Yes it's a lot of schooling but I can do it and do it well.  It's not my first choice, it's not what I want, what I want is to be what I am good at and what I'm built to be but, as I have taught my life over is that it doesn't work that way.  While we are promised forgiveness from Christ we are not promised slavation from the aftermath the consequences.  I am living with that.  It just sucks that others have to too.