For Sale

For sale broken youth pastor. 10 plus years experience.

I thought of posting this somewhere but realized that no one wants a broken youth pastor. Not many people want a broken anything except God, and right now I just don't know. I told J that I would do anything for things to be reversed, and I would. It just doesn't matter.

It's hard to realize that the thing that you have worked all your life for is no longer an option for you. People have said all kinds of things in the past few weeks, from you'll be fine, to when the dust settles you will be back at it. The thing is while it's what I am and what I'm best at, they don't get the reality of the whole situation. I won't be back at it for several reasons. There are the obvious ones, but there are also the logical ones.

In September I'm going to be 35. The average youth pastor is in his or her 20's. With the experience comes a bit more need as far as salary goes add to that they 2 kids that I have and the wife and well thats just it.

Plus I can't do it any more not to my family, not to myself, not to another group of students. So it's back to the drawing board. The thing is, I know what is going to happen, I know I'm just going to function. I hate that but it's the way it is. I'll do what I have to do and I'll do my best plus at it. The work a holic in me will keep pushing but it wont be me. Thats the worst part of this whole thing. But hey I have taught that things are not easy and that consequences are there and while we are forgiven and while God loves us and will see us through anything the consequence still has to be lived out.