Well it's Sunday morning. I am going to go to church, even though I don't want to. I just don't like the thought of being looked at and whispered about.
I want this to be over and I want to go back and re-do things and I want to be restored to who I am and who I was and this can not ever happen and it makes me angry at myself and at the people who are pushing for the breaking that they have helped to cause.
I have never felt this way about one particular person in my entire life, and I hate that I feel that way but it just won't go away. I can't believe it, I can't even bring myself to pray for the person. I know that is part of what is going on but I have never loathed anyone more than myself before.
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