what now

Been a few weeks since I wrote.  I am working at just forgetting things and moving on.  I find it disconcerting that there are people that I love but don't really know what to say.  It's funny but I really have gotten to the point where I dont care about what other people from the cold north have to say.  It's just to long in coming.  When everything is finally done I think I just want to be left alone, I don't need the closure that I thought I had to have because I have realized that the closure happens when I choose to let it happen.  I just don't care what they have to say.  It isn't important enough.  What good is it going to do to read what they have to say 4 or 5 months later.
I mean dont get me wrong.   If they decide to answer back I may read what they say but at the same time I may just delete the emails without a thought.  better to move on and be with my family than trying to live in the past.
I'm sad that I'm not a youth pastor any more.  I'm good at it, but I'm good at other things, I can be anyway.
So this is it, living in the past is just bringing me down.  Thinking about what I would be doing right now, what event would be happening, what message I would be working on and what the next step would be just makes me surley.  I have to stop being surley.
Besides my liberal leanings are getting more and more pronounced and fleshed out in my mind and heart.  I want to keep it that way and I like the thought of actually being instead of teaching.  Besides Jesus was a Socialist.  I am more and more convinced of this.  Not the bad kind but he had a lot of socialist leanings.